#28: O.co Coliseum

O.co Coliseum

7000 Coliseum Way

Oakland, California 94621

Capacity:  35,067

Indoors/outdoors:  Outdoors

Game Attended:  Mariners v. A’s; September 3, 2009

I recall reading somewhere (probably Wikipedia) that Oakland, California was voted by a travel guide as having the best weather in the United States.  As a well-versed traveler throughout the Land of the Free I can say with little hesitation that this travel guide was probably correct.  While San Diego and Seattle (in the summer months) are also both gorgeous (really, you can’t go wrong anywhere on the West Coast) Oakland offers pretty much anything you would want in terms of great weather; mild temperatures, lack of ungodly precipitation, an occasional breeze, etc.  Neighboring city San Francisco can also probably stake a claim to having the nicest weather in the U.S. but because they are situated on a peninsula it can tend to get a tad cooler in the evenings forcing NoCal residents to break out their parkas when the thermostat drops below 50 degrees.  In any event, as a proud Baltimorean, I remain insanely jealous of the Northern California climate.  And it’s a good thing the weather there is so pleasant (and that’s it’s just a train ride away from San Francisco, my favorite U.S. City), or else stadium #28 on our list may have been ranked even lower.  It’s our first fully outdoor park, O.Co Coliseum, home of the Oakland Athletics.

O.Co Coliseum (more popularly known as Oakland Coliseum or just “The Coliseum – this place has undergone more name changes than Prince) is an ugly, colorless concrete bowl situated in a gigantic parking lot in the southern part of Oakland.  Upon arrival from the BART train (the preferred method of transport to games) spectators are treated to a lovely walk across a chain-link enclosed bridge to the front façade of the park, which features a large banner paying tribute to the A’s four World Series championships in Oakland and another banner featuring the Oakland Raiders’ logo and their slogan, “Commitment to Excellence.”  In a non-scientific study, it was revealed that approximately 85% of all visitors who see this banner make some sort of snarky remark while walking into the park.  The Raiders banner is present because, as I’m sure you know, The Coliseum is the sole remaining baseball park that also is home to an NFL franchise, which creates a ton of problems for it from a baseball perspective.  29,133 problems to be exact.  

29,133 is the difference in capacity between the stadium’s baseball configuration and football configuration.  Such a striking difference is owed to two primary things:  a general lack of fan support for the baseball team and a megalomaniacal football owner.  I have never really understood why The Coliseum suffers from such fan apathy towards its ball club.  Since the arrival of Billy Beane (and a whole new way to evaluate prospects) the A’s have, more often than not, been a contender.  While their post-season success is not much to write home about (and is the subject of barbs from the anti-saber crowd) the regular season has been kind to the A’s in recent years, as they have made eight post-season appearances since the turn of the century.  Despite that, the upper deck of the Coliseum remains mostly “tarped”.  Adding to the problem is what is known colloquially as “Mount Davis” which was added to the stadium in the 90s to accommodate the return of the Raiders to Oakland.  This monstrosity is pure ugliness and greed and actually serves to cover up what used to be a pretty nice view beyond the Coliseum’s outfield.  Like the Rogers Centre, having all of these unused seats adds to the gloom and aesthetic unpleasantness of this place dubbed by a friend as “God’s Toilet Bowl.”

The Coliseum is also the first park on our rankings list that features a particularly awful food experience.  We lawyers having a saying called “Caveat Emptor” which is Latin for “Let the Buyer Beware.”  I won’t bore you with a ton of legalese but this expression has been a basic tenet of contract law for years and I suppose could also apply to the “deal” my friends and I thought we were getting at the Coliseum.  The special was “family pack night” (or something like that) and, for $20 or so, got you a ticket, soda and hot dog.  Have you heard of that new internet fad “legs or hot dogs”?  Well let’s just say these hot dogs we got could only be confused with the legs of, say, Conan O’Brien.  The dogs were cold, undercooked and tasteless.  To cap it off, they were stuffed into oversized sesame rolls that I imagine were originally used for unsold hoagies and were about to go stale.  I cannot recall if any of us actually finished our meal but if we did, it was only because of the beer.

Other bad things about this place.  Well, it’s located basically in the middle of nowhere.  If you enjoy pregaming before heading into the stadium you better have a car and a cooler.  Like the previous two entries on the list this place is ugly but, unlike the domed stadiums, there is absolutely nothing unique or even noteworthy about this place’s exterior.  The term “concrete jungle” comes to mind.  This stadium is a relic from a time when parks were built more for efficiency than looks and while it’s not as bad as some of the multi-purpose places that existed in Cincinnati, Philly or Pittsburgh (among others) you can tell that this place is a not-so-distant cousin to those now-deceased cookie cutters.  Also, the interior is just ridiculous.  I’ve touched on the plethora of empty seats already but there are a few other things here that just don’t pass the test.  The first is the absurdly large amount of foul territory.  I am not one of those people that need to see a 12-8 game but, for the average fan, more offense generally equals a better time.  The dimensions of this place serve to severely limit those types of games.  When a batter hits a pop-up their only option is to pray and, most of the time, those prayers go unanswered.  The final issue I have with The Coliseum’s interior is what I have dubbed as “the steps to nowhere.”  I had noticed these stairs from watching countless games here on TV and I was hoping that attending a game live would answer my question; namely, why are these stairs here?  Where do they go?  The obvious answer is that they are used for the football formation but, really, you can’t find another place to put them?  Hell, you tarp everything else, why not throw a tarp over those steps as well?  The bottom line is, like a few other big league clubs, the A’s need a new stadium and whether they move or not, I’m hoping one arrives sooner rather than later.

So that’s O.Co Coliseum, #28 on the list.  If you find yourself attending a game there, I encourage you to enjoy the weather and to enjoy taking in the sights and sounds of one of the truly great metropolitan areas I’ve ever been to.  Just don’t expect much else.  And eat before you arrive.