#20 Minute Maid Park

Minute Maid Park

501 Crawford Street

Houston, Texas 77002

Capacity:  41, 547

Indoors/outdoors:  Retractable Roof

Selected Game Attended:  Cubs at Astros; October 2, 2010

One of the biggest reasons I enjoy traveling around the country to visit various baseball stadiums is the uniqueness of the parks themselves.  It makes for an easier blog to write because I rarely feel like I am retelling the same things.  This is unlike any other sport in our country.  For the most part, if you have seen one NHL/NBA arena you’ve seen them all.  The same goes for NFL stadiums where the dimensions are precisely the same and, unless you’re in a historic venue like Lambeau Field, chances are that very little about one stadium would separate itself from another.  Sure, I love the sport and would probably be convinced to take any number of road trips rather easily, but the fact that each stadium is so different from the other is the added bonus.  Baseball stadiums each have their own personality.  A homerun that just clears the right field wall in Yankee Stadium would be a loud out in San Diego.  A screaming line drive that hits the top of the Green Monster in Boston is likely a single there, whereas it would be a home run in every other park in baseball.  And O.Co Coliseum has robbed countless batters of precious batting average points when what should be an out of play foul ball lands safely in the glove of a fielder.  Often times the park you’re visiting also symbolizes the city you’re in.  Some parks do this very well (as we will see) and others, well, not so much.  Such is the case with Houston’s Minute Maid Park, a carnival of a stadium located in a rather conservative city and number 20 on our list.

In the interest of full disclosure I should probably let you know that I have never done acid.  I have, however, seen Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas so I can surmise that the closest thing to watching a baseball game on acid has to be at Minute Maid Park.  You immediately get a sense that the designers of this place did everything they could to make it stand out as loony and unique as possible.  Some of it works and some of it does not.  Let’s start with the obvious and that is center field.  It is hard enough to play center field in major league baseball without having to worry about running up an incline.  However, at Minute Maid Park outfielders are tasked with doing just that (there’s also a flag pole in the field of play, because running up a hill isn’t hard enough).  Luckily balls are rarely hit there on the fly – the center field wall is an absurd 436 feet from home plate – and thus the most action the hill sees are fielders running up it to chase balls that have rolled to the wall.  In addition, the Astros have announced that the hill and flag pole will be removed following the 2015 season, brining a much needed sense of normalcy to the park.

Mitigating the cavernous center field are cozy corners where even a hard hit pop fly can sometimes find its way out into the bleachers.  Sitting atop the left field section are train tracks in honor of Union Station, whose grounds the stadium was built on.  The train above the tracks actually moves when the Astros hit a home run and one of the cars is filled with oranges (a friend of mine thought they were pumpkins, considering we were attending the last games of the year in October).  I think this whole thing looks tacky and doesn’t really fit in with the rest of the park or downtown.  The tracks and wall just sort of end and immediately transform into what looks like an otherwise standard indoor/outdoor stadium.  

The roof is located above the right field stands and the scoreboard, in my opinion, is tucked too far back into the roof’s skeleton.  I was sitting down the third base line and it was tough to see.  The scoreboard itself, I should note, is nice enough.

So, while Minute Maid Park is certainly tacky, there is a lot to like here.  The location is near downtown (although I counted, I think, three different skylines down there – the zoning laws are wacky which is a big reason why the city is so expansive) and parking is a breeze.  There are a few bars near the park with a solid atmosphere (when I attended the Astros were dead to rights and there was still a solid crowd) and the tackiness of the park, for all its faults, is still pretty interesting to look at.   You won’t see a ball game anywhere close to a place this unique and for that I commend them for at least trying – there is nothing worse than a plain park with nothing going for it, a huge reason why the cookie cutter era is so universally hated.  There is also great food in the region.  Whether you want a steak or some great Tex-Mex, you can find a place to fill your belly in the country’s fourth largest city.  

So there is Minute Maid Park.  It doesn’t resemble the Houston that most people know and that’s OK.  It stands out on its own and, for all its blemishes, is still a nice place to see a game.  We have advanced to the middle 3^rd of the rankings list, so congrats as well for not being in the dreaded bottom 10!

#21 Yankee Stadium

Yankee Stadium

1 East 161^st Street

Bronx, New York 10451

Capacity:  49,642

Indoors/outdoors:  Outdoors

Selected Game Attended:  Reds at Yankees; May 20, 2012

A famous movie character once said that “greed, for lack of a better word, is good.  Greed is right.  Greed works.”  Unless you live under a rock, you recognize this line from Michael Douglas’ character Gordon Gekko in the 1987 film “Wall Street.”  The merits of this line (and of Gekko’s existence himself) have been debated over the years but one thing is for sure; if you agree with Gordon Gekko, and if you romanticize his character and lavish 1980s yuppie life-style you will feel right at home at the (new) Yankee Stadium, home of the 27-time world champion New York Yankees and #21 (surprisingly a number that has not been retired by the Yanks) on our list.

You first experience Yankee Stadium (built in 2009 to replace the old Yankee Stadium, which was renovated in 1976 to replace the REAL old Yankee Stadium – the one that Ruth, DiMaggio and Mantle played in – more on this in a second) as you drive up (assuming you choose to drive).  One time passing the parking signs asking for upwards of your first born son and you quickly come to the realization that you are about to be gouged as you enjoy your day out at the park.  The other option, of course, is to take the train.  I’ve found New York City subways to be efficient and reliable despite most stations smelling like a toilet bowl.  It’s also a lot less expensive than driving.  New York prides itself on offering boat loads of public transportation, no matter what part of the area you are coming in from so, as a piece of friendly advice, I’d say leave the car at home. 

I know several Yankee fans and most of them were fairly torn on the idea of building a new stadium for their team.  On the one hand, replacing an icon of sports history is not an easy thing to do.  On the other hand, the former Yankee Stadium, like most buildings erected while Harding was in office, was in slight disrepair and wasn’t the most comfortable of places (I can recall feeling like a sardine walking up the narrow walkways to the concourse at the old Yankee Stadium).  The hot-button issue of building this place even caused a chasm between two beloved New York City sports talk hosts (watch the whole video, trust me).  Nobody asked me, but since you’re reading my blog I will offer my opinion.  While I certainly respect the lore of those great Yankee teams from the 20s, and 30s, and 40s, and 50s (gah, hit me in the face with a tack hammer), I feel as though once the older stadium was renovated, that took away a lot of the history behind the park itself.  Many people feel like even the old Yankee stadium wasn’t TRULY the House that Ruth Built but was rather just a reconfiguration of cement over hallowed ground.  I didn’t really have an issue with building a new park, so long as they got it right.  And did they get it right?  I honestly don’t know.

The Yankees did their best to maintain as much charm from the old stadium as they could.  The white lattice that was so notable in both iterations of the old place remains here, and they kept the short right field porch so overrated bums like Mark Teixeira could still hit 30+ homers a year and pretend that he is worth the almost quarter billion dollars that the Yankees are paying him.  Talk about greed, I mean really, you’re gonna pay that guy….woah, head rush…time out.  Need an aspirin.

Ok where was I?  Oh yea, Yankee Stadium.  Sure some of the charm from the old place (you know about Monument Park, right) is still there but, despite that, the interior just seems…inauthentic and antiseptic, like it was a kit bought at Target for a kid’s Christmas gift and slowly pieced together – sure it’s nice on the inside, and comfortable, but does it really serve as a suitable replacement?

Perhaps I am being a little unfair.  I realize it’s hard to take the place of an icon – just ask Lou Gehrig when he took over for Wally Pipp.  I shudder to think about when my beloved Camden Yards finally goes the way of the Dodo as there is just no way to properly replace it.  Standing alone, without considering the former stadium, I like Yankee Stadium quite enough.  There are generously wide concourses, comfortable (although expensive) seats and plenty of various concessions and beer to choose from.  I personally enjoy going for a few beers with some Nathan’s Hot Dogs (the best ever) and follow that up with a sundae from Carvel.  If you’re over the age of 12 you probably don’t enjoy that same fare but there is a lot there – just bring your AmEx Black Card.

Going back to the greed aspect (the theme of this entry, if you haven’t caught on) is the grotesque amounts of money everything costs.  The first few seats of the stadium are almost always guaranteed to be empty (unless it is a big game) owing to the fact that they cost, on average, $510.00 (the most expensive being $2,600.00).  I love baseball, but I don’t love it enough to pay that sort of money to see a game live.  There is also signs of Corporate America all over the place, again, not necessarily a bad thing, but adds to the whole lack of charm aspect the stadium tries to avoid.  There is the Audi Yankees Club, the SAP Suite Level, the Jim Beam Suite, etc etc.  There is also the Mohegan Sun Sports Bar which deserves extra derision.  If you are attending a game here, I cannot emphasize this enough, do NOT purchase tickets in left or right center field lest you run the risk of having a good chunk of the outfield blocked off by this monstrosity.  I only went in here once and, in addition to the fact that you need a special ticket, wasn’t blown away by it at all.  The view is poor, the drinks are expensive and there is assigned seating once you are in there.  Avoid at all costs.  In fact, I’d stay away from any of the bleachers period.  During cold games the area behind you acts like a wind tunnel, turning a baseball game into The Wall and you’re always running the risk of meeting a looney tune or two if you have the wrong team jersey on.  Instead buy a ticket above home plate in the Gulden’s Mustard Luxury Box Suite Area (note:  this name is possibly made up) and enjoy yourself.

So, that’s Yankee Stadium.  I wasn’t sure how to approach this write-up since there is so much about this place that is controversial but I think I did OK.  It’s not the greatest stadium on Earth and it’s certainly not anywhere near its predecessor (despite trying) but there are much worse places to see a game and, for all its faults, will still sell you a $14 beer.

Oh yea, as for stuff to do outside of the stadium, you’re in New York City.  You’ll find something to do.  Duh.

#22: Kauffman Stadium

 Kauffman Stadium

One Royal Way

Kansas City, MO 64129

Capacity:  37,903

Indoors/outdoors:  Outdoors

Game Attended:  Twins at Royals; September 29, 2010

Anyone who knows me relatively well knows that I am a boatload of useless information.  From being able to name every US President in order, to having an uncanny ability to remember song lyrics, if you have a trivia team in need of assistance, I am your man.  I often wonder how much more I could accomplish in life if I devoted only part of my brain’s ability that is currently used to store worthless NBA Finals history, but then I pop open a beer and move on.  Who wants to be perfect?  Anyway, one of the first “factoids” that I can remember learning was from my father.  We were watching an Orioles/Royals game and I remarked how weird it was that you could see a major highway right from the seats in the stadium.  This highway, of course, is Interstate 70 which stretches from Baltimore to Utah.  Imagine my surprise when my old man told me that this was the same road right in our backyard!  The world instantly became a much smaller place.  The purpose of this seemingly random anecdote is that Kauffman Stadium’s location (out in the sticks, right off the highway) is precisely why it’s ranked so low.  The home of the Royals, coming in at #22 on our (slowly) growing list.

As mentioned earlier, the first thing you will notice about Kauffman Stadium (formerly appropriately called “Royals Stadium”) is its poor location.  While technically in Kansas City, it’s not near any sort of discernible downtown.  This gives it two immediate strikes:  bad pre and post game atmosphere and poor views from the seating bowl.  Right next door is Arrowhead Stadium, the home of the Chiefs (and a long list of mediocre quarterback play since, uh, 1993?).  Obviously there is a huge parking lot here but I do not remember any sort of intense tailgating going on, indeed a sin when you are gifted with a bunch of open parking spaces in one of the country’s premier BBQ towns.

Kauffman Stadium opened in 1973, the height of the previously-discussed cookie cutter era.  Make no mistake, this place is far from a cookie cutter.  While the seating bowl itself is quite symmetrical, the outfield view (inside the stadium) is quite lovely.  The giant royal-shaped logo scoreboard can’t be missed and is quite unique – one of the more unique scoreboards in baseball.  And, of course, there are the fountains.  An iconic part of Kauffman Stadium for years, other parks have mimicked the “water inside the park” feature, but the Royals, as far as I know, were the first and, I won’t lie, they’re pretty nice looking, shooting off between innings and whenever the Royals hit a home run. 

I would also recommend checking out the Royals Hall-of-Fame in the outfield.  While I was there I was greeted by a gentleman dressed as a dead-ball era baseball player.  He was very into his job and probably knows more about the Royals than any other person on Earth.  Also inside the museum is an entire exhibit dedicated to the “pine tar game.”  For those not familiar, the Royals and Yankees had quite a rivalry in the late 70s and early 80s.  In 1983, with both teams in contention, they played a game at Yankee Stadium which resulted in Royals’ star George Brett hitting a go-ahead home run in the top of the 9^th inning.  The Yankees asked the umpire to inspect Brett’s bat and, after determining the pine tar on the bat was too far up the barrel, declared Brett out and gave the Yankees the win.  Eventually the Royals protested the ruling and ended up winning the game, but they are pretty bitter, still, about the whole incident.  They have everything in this exhibit, including the bat itself (borrowed from the HOF) with the major league baseball rules attached, explaining why the bat wasn’t illegal.  They also have a letter from Richard Nixon stating he believes the Royals were correct the whole time.  It’s a little looney, but I loved it.

Aside from that, the stadium doesn’t have much else noteworthy.  It’s plenty nice to take a game in, even if it’s in the middle of nowhere.  The upperdeck is very odd on either end.  There are no upper deck seats in the outfield and the sides of the seats literally end in a “point” – something I don’t think I’ve ever seen before.

Finally if you’re in Kansas City, I recommend you check out Arthur Bryant’s for some amazing BBQ (St. Louis residents won’t like this, but KC is superior).  Also, since you probably like baseball, the Negro League Museum is a can’t miss.  The College Basketball HOF and Experience is interesting but a bit cheesy.  Also, you can gamble on river boat in this town.  I lost a few bucks to a nice dealer named “Florida.”

So that’s Kauffman Stadium.  Enjoy.  By the way, did you know Frank Robinson is the only player to ever win the MVP award in both the American and National league?

#23: Nationals Park

Nationals Park

1500 South Capitol Street SE

Washington, DC 20003

Capacity:  41,418

Indoors/outdoors:  Outdoors

Selected Game Attended:  Orioles at Nationals; July 7, 2014

A confession.  I kinda liked going to games at RFK Stadium.  Don’t misunderstand me.  I love modern ballparks and their amenities and I love the historic parks that are over 100 years old and are nestled in the middle of an urban neighborhood.  RFK Stadium, the former home of the Washington Nationals (and Senators and Senators) was neither and, in another era, I probably would have avoided it at all costs.  Still, in an age when the “Cookie Cutters” are no longer existent, RFK was a nice reminder of what those sort of places were like.  I’m a sucker for history (even “black eye” history) and RFK was the sole remaining relic from that era of Major League Baseball parks (the stadium still hosts DC United).  Alas, the Nats have moved on and, in conjunction with their agreement to move to Washington from Montreal (and break the heart of one notable baseball writer) a brand spanking, completely mediocre stadium was erected in South East DC.  It’s stadium #23 on the list, Nationals Park.

As a resident of the greater Washington/Baltimore area for 28 or so years, let me offer a piece of advice.  If the game you’re planning to attend at Nats Park starts between the hours of 8 am and 11 pm you’re going to sit in traffic.  No matter what route you take or what time you leave, if you’re of the mind to take your car, be prepared to hit some sort of traffic jam – this is the life that us beltway dwellers experience every day.  To that end, I recommend taking the Metro.  If you’re in or around the DC area this is a no-brainer but if you do have to drive a car, the Branch Avenue station offers parking and is a short train ride to the stadium.  Because the Nats are good, the stadium itself tends to be pretty packed most nights and waiting for a train after the game can be a claustrophobics nightmare (although the new station is an upgrade from RFK).  Fortunately, Branch Avenue generally goes against the flow of most of the traffic (especially everyone that is heading to the Red Line) so that would be my recommendation.  Also, despite the scenic views the park COULD offer being blocked out by parking garages (seriously, blech) parking down there is expensive, hard to find or both.  Leave your car at home or in a Metro lot – trust me.  And if you didn't catch what I was throwing out here, transportation to this place is a headache.  C'est la vie.

Aside from the temper-inducing traffic offered by the Beltway, there are two more notable bad issues with Nationals Park.  The first being the aforementioned view.  You may not know this, but there are some pretty cool sights to see in Washington and, because of a law that prohibits any building from being taller than the Washington Monument, these sights are pretty easy to see from various places in the city.  You would think, sitting high above home plate (my favorite place to perch in any ballpark) you’d be able to catch a glimpse of the Capitol Building.  And while that portion of the park DOES face towards The Hill, it is very hard to see due to various parking garages and office buildings built in the area.  This is what we call the “cost of doing business” as these buildings are all serving to rebuild what was once a pretty bad area in the District.  The other issue I have, which sort of goes along with the whole “rebuilding” thing is the lack of atmosphere around the park.  While there are various projects in place to spruce the area up there still isn’t a TON to do in terms of pre-gaming.  There is a Gordon Biersch (sp?) brewery nearby that is positively packed on game days and, if the weather cooperates, a few outdoorsy areas to grab a brew. 

There are some positives about the home of the former Montreal Expos.  The stadium itself, inside, is pretty nice.  The press box sits above even the upper deck, which is a pretty unique feature compared to most other parks (although the Nats are not alone in this type of set up).  This allows for a  much more intimate feel, as if you’re attending a minor league game.  I also particularly enjoy the gray brick that surrounds the backstop and baseline walls.  Aside from that, Nats park is packed with all the amenities and features you’d expect from a park built within the last 10 years.  Spacious bathrooms with short lines, plenty of concessions (Ben’s Chili Bowl, I believe, is somewhat overrated but if you’re going for just one time, you should try it) and an open air concourse that allows patrons to see the game even when they are not in the seating bowl.  Combine that with a pretty cool “Red Porch” bar in Centerfield (a solid place to hang out before the game, although you need a ticket to get in) and the actual game experience itself is pretty fun.  

Finally, the zombie statues.  I don’t know whose idea these things were but they are healthy mix of terrifying, hilarious and repulsive.  I think the idea was to honor past Washington baseball legends by showing them in “live action” but instead, oh God, Walter Johnson is undead!  These things are hideous but do yourself a favor and get a picture with one of them before they eat your brain.

So there’s Nationals Park.  If you’re in town on a summer weekend and you’ve had enough of dealing with tourists along the Mall and you aren’t interested in hanging out with spoiled brats in Georgetown, head down to South East and catch a game.