#26: Progressive Field

Progressive Field

2401 Ontario Street

Cleveland, Ohio 44115

Capacity:  38,000

Indoors/outdoors:  Outdoors

Selected Game Attended:  Orioles at Indians; April 16, 2011

There is a popular saying along the east coast that if you dislike the weather, wait a few minutes and it will change.  While this saying is certainly a tad tongue-in-cheek folks that grew up in this area know exactly what this saying means – the weather here changes and we experience all four seasons.  The closest thing I’ve ever seen to this saying being quite literal was the day I spent in Cleveland at Progressive Field, stadium #26 on the list.  For you, the reader, I went through my phone and dug up a few of the pictures I took that day.  God as my witness, the following three pictures were taken, in succession, in about an hour’s time.

The weather being the most noteworthy thing about my experience at Progressive Field (still colloquially called “the Jake”) is both good and bad.  While there is nothing that is astonishingly awful about the Indians’ home it is very unremarkable, which I think is a bad thing.  Baseball historians will note that Progressive Field was the first stadium built after Camden Yards, and they did their best to replicate the “retro” feel first introduced in Baltimore.  While I can certainly give them an “A” for trying, Progressive Field does not feel nearly as “retro” or “authentic” as its predecessor.  Maybe I am spoiled after spending half of a lifetime watching games in Camden Yards but my first thought when entering Progressive Field was “meh.”  

The park does a decent job of establishing the “quirks” needed to be considered retro (almost every older park in baseball history had its fair share).  From the “toothbrush”lighting to the asymmetrical outfield walls there are plenty of things here that are visually pleasing.  Also, as views are oh-so important, Progressive Field does offer a great view of both of Cleveland’s buildings.  I also give them credit for a very big scoreboard in left field.  While the score board itself offers excellent views of replays and game stats, it’s almost TOO big and noticeable for my liking.  Because the rest of the outfield doesn’t really have a lot to look at, the scoreboard becomes almost a distraction, if that makes any sense.

The final noteworthy aspect of the park’s outfield is the goofball in the centerfield bleachers (called the “Reservation”) incessantly pounding on a drum trying to rhythmically replicate a Native American war drum.  I cannot begin to explain to you how annoying this is, especially when you’re watching your team play the Indians on the road.  I had heard the drum on TV countless times, and I always remarked how much I disliked it, but when you are there live it becomes too much.  It would be one thing if he banged the drum after a big Indians’ score, or a home run or something, but this guy literally bangs the drum every time the Indians have a runner in scoring position.  To say it is slightly obnoxious would be an insult to slightly obnoxious things (like a paper cut).  All that said, I would imagine the home fans love it, and, since it bugged me, I would guess that it has, at times, served to at least slightly psyche out a mental-midget pitcher, but I feel like I was listening to the drum banging in my head far after I left the park.

As I mentioned there isn’t a ton to say about Progressive Field, and I search for words to write to fill my quota (I don’t really have a quota).  The concourses are plain, the food was just meh, there are a few bars in the area for game-day attendees to throw back a few before heading in and, overall, you won’t be too disappointed or too mind-blown by your Progressive Field experience.  I would suggest, based on my introduction, that if you want to see a game there to save you trip for the heart of summer if you can.  Otherwise, you will probably need to pack a poncho.

So, Progressive Field, #26 on the list.  The most unremarkable park in all of baseball.  For better or worse, it’s there, drum beats and all.  

#27: U.S. Cellular Field

U.S. Cellular Field

333 West 35st Street

Chicago, Illinois 60616

Capacity:  40,615

Indoors/outdoors:  Outdoors

Game Attended:  Orioles at White Sox; July 4, 2013

It’s hypothetical time!  Imagine, if you will, that you are one of the richest people in the city of Chicago.  I’m talking billionaire here, more money than you know what to do with.  As a typical rich person, you are never quite satisfied with your material possessions and, a home being the most material of possessions, you decide to erect a sky rise just outside of the downtown area, with your modest accommodations encapsulating the entire top floor.  You wait weeks upon weeks in anticipation, eagerly counting down the days until you can move in.  Finally the day arrives.  You enter the building, take your own private express elevator to the top floor and hold your breath as the door opens.  You step out and the very first thing you notice is that the grand window in your penthouse does not face one of the all-time great skylines but, rather, a low-rent apartment complex framing a view of an interstate highway.  I ask you…would you be pissed?  If you answered “yes” then you share more in common with the average White Sox fan than you probably know.  So much about a great baseball park (as we will see in future reviews) rests on the view you get beyond centerfield, the “art” that frames the park.  Lots of parks got it right but the White Sox got it so, so wrong.

If the hypothetical in the introduction didn’t go over your head, you can probably guess the number one issue that I have with U.S. Cellular Field, home of the Chicago White Sox and #27 on the list.  As I got off the train the day of the game I attended there, I noticed how nice the skyline looked upon walking up to the entrance.  I remarked to myself about how the skyline pales only in comparison to New York’s and that any architect worth his salt would certainly take advantage of such a breath-taking sight when building a baseball stadium.  Then, as I rode the escalator up to my section behind home plate, it dawned on me that I could STILL SEE THE SKYLINE from the escalator.  Oh no…you mean…no….no way.  Yup, the stadium’s main view beyond the outfield wall is not of the Willis Tower and his friends, but rather Interstate 90 and bunch of dull apartment buildings.  Humbug.  Now, I am no architect myself, so I have no idea if logistically having the park face the skyline was simply an impossibility (and I’m not dismissing this as a definite reason) but, excuses or no, it’s a major black eye on what is otherwise not a completely terrible place to watch a baseball game.

In a way, I feel bad for White Sox fans.  U.S. Cellular Field was the last stadium built prior to the era of retro parks which paid homage to older stadiums (like Comiskey Park, which “The Cell” replaced).  If they had just waited an extra year or two there is a chance that their pad could have turned out much better – presumably going along with the trend of retro parks that followed in the years after.  Instead, they were gifted this mess and while U.S. Cellular Field is not nearly as bad as the previous three entrants on the list, it’s still a pretty poor excuse for a stadium. 

I’ve already highlighted the skyline issue, but the stadium’s location also leaves a lot to be desired.  It is situated in the South Side of town, not far away from where the Showtime series “Shameless” takes place.  If you’ve ever seen this show, you know that it’s not a place you really want to spend a lot of time, particularly after 10 pm when most night games let out.  The game I attended was during the day so there wasn’t a total fear of safety (and, if I’m being honest, in most cases you’re fine leaving a stadium at night after a game in any city – I’ve never had any issues whatsoever).  That said, when I was there the closest train line happened to be closed due to repairs.  I remember a sign informing guests that they would have to walk a few extra blocks to get on the closest “L” but, not to worry, there would be “extra security” present along the main thoroughfare to the train.  Uh…thanks?  To be fair, the area didn’t strike me as particularly bad or run down but, to be sure, there isn’t much to do there in the way of pre-game socializing.  Like Oakland and, to a lesser extent, Tampa, it’s a stadium, a parking lot and that’s about it. 

The other major issue, and I’ve seen this at other parks, is that you aren’t free to walk around the entire stadium.  If you have an upper deck ticket, you are banished to the upper deck.  There are actually ushers checking tickets at the entrances to the lower level.  Fortunately I was able to walk around the outfield concourse and it wasn’t so bad.  They have renovated this stadium a lot in recent years and there are nice statues of former White Sox greats like Harold Baines (the pride of Maryland’s Eastern Shore!) and Frank Thomas.  Be sure to walk around and check these things out if you’re visiting.  U.S. Cellular Field also has those multi-colored pinwheels in the outfield which spin and shoot off fireworks, a nice homage to Old Comiskey Park.

One final note.  If you’re seeing a game here make sure you take advantage of the fact that YOU’RE IN CHICAGO!  There are no shortages of things to do in this town and I couldn’t begin to tell you all the ways you could have fun.  Mass transit is your friend in the Windy City (the “L” runs 24 hours a day) so, when the game ends, head out of there and get a steak, or go to a blues bar, or have a deep dish pie or just drink your face off.  No matter what you decide to do, it’s impossible not to have fun in Chicago, a definite plus for U.S. Cellular Field.

The Cell isn’t all that bad, and the renovations (a new scoreboard, restaurants and bars inside) have certainly improved the park overall.  Still, there is plenty about it to justify ranking it here.  I should mention that while I have ranked it #27, it’s far and away better than the previous three parks and, in fact, #s 27-15 or so were pretty hard to rank.  There have been so many new parks built in recent years, and they’re all nice in their own way.  Which for us baseball fans is a very very good thing.

#28: O.co Coliseum

O.co Coliseum

7000 Coliseum Way

Oakland, California 94621

Capacity:  35,067

Indoors/outdoors:  Outdoors

Game Attended:  Mariners v. A’s; September 3, 2009

I recall reading somewhere (probably Wikipedia) that Oakland, California was voted by a travel guide as having the best weather in the United States.  As a well-versed traveler throughout the Land of the Free I can say with little hesitation that this travel guide was probably correct.  While San Diego and Seattle (in the summer months) are also both gorgeous (really, you can’t go wrong anywhere on the West Coast) Oakland offers pretty much anything you would want in terms of great weather; mild temperatures, lack of ungodly precipitation, an occasional breeze, etc.  Neighboring city San Francisco can also probably stake a claim to having the nicest weather in the U.S. but because they are situated on a peninsula it can tend to get a tad cooler in the evenings forcing NoCal residents to break out their parkas when the thermostat drops below 50 degrees.  In any event, as a proud Baltimorean, I remain insanely jealous of the Northern California climate.  And it’s a good thing the weather there is so pleasant (and that’s it’s just a train ride away from San Francisco, my favorite U.S. City), or else stadium #28 on our list may have been ranked even lower.  It’s our first fully outdoor park, O.Co Coliseum, home of the Oakland Athletics.

O.Co Coliseum (more popularly known as Oakland Coliseum or just “The Coliseum – this place has undergone more name changes than Prince) is an ugly, colorless concrete bowl situated in a gigantic parking lot in the southern part of Oakland.  Upon arrival from the BART train (the preferred method of transport to games) spectators are treated to a lovely walk across a chain-link enclosed bridge to the front façade of the park, which features a large banner paying tribute to the A’s four World Series championships in Oakland and another banner featuring the Oakland Raiders’ logo and their slogan, “Commitment to Excellence.”  In a non-scientific study, it was revealed that approximately 85% of all visitors who see this banner make some sort of snarky remark while walking into the park.  The Raiders banner is present because, as I’m sure you know, The Coliseum is the sole remaining baseball park that also is home to an NFL franchise, which creates a ton of problems for it from a baseball perspective.  29,133 problems to be exact.  

29,133 is the difference in capacity between the stadium’s baseball configuration and football configuration.  Such a striking difference is owed to two primary things:  a general lack of fan support for the baseball team and a megalomaniacal football owner.  I have never really understood why The Coliseum suffers from such fan apathy towards its ball club.  Since the arrival of Billy Beane (and a whole new way to evaluate prospects) the A’s have, more often than not, been a contender.  While their post-season success is not much to write home about (and is the subject of barbs from the anti-saber crowd) the regular season has been kind to the A’s in recent years, as they have made eight post-season appearances since the turn of the century.  Despite that, the upper deck of the Coliseum remains mostly “tarped”.  Adding to the problem is what is known colloquially as “Mount Davis” which was added to the stadium in the 90s to accommodate the return of the Raiders to Oakland.  This monstrosity is pure ugliness and greed and actually serves to cover up what used to be a pretty nice view beyond the Coliseum’s outfield.  Like the Rogers Centre, having all of these unused seats adds to the gloom and aesthetic unpleasantness of this place dubbed by a friend as “God’s Toilet Bowl.”

The Coliseum is also the first park on our rankings list that features a particularly awful food experience.  We lawyers having a saying called “Caveat Emptor” which is Latin for “Let the Buyer Beware.”  I won’t bore you with a ton of legalese but this expression has been a basic tenet of contract law for years and I suppose could also apply to the “deal” my friends and I thought we were getting at the Coliseum.  The special was “family pack night” (or something like that) and, for $20 or so, got you a ticket, soda and hot dog.  Have you heard of that new internet fad “legs or hot dogs”?  Well let’s just say these hot dogs we got could only be confused with the legs of, say, Conan O’Brien.  The dogs were cold, undercooked and tasteless.  To cap it off, they were stuffed into oversized sesame rolls that I imagine were originally used for unsold hoagies and were about to go stale.  I cannot recall if any of us actually finished our meal but if we did, it was only because of the beer.

Other bad things about this place.  Well, it’s located basically in the middle of nowhere.  If you enjoy pregaming before heading into the stadium you better have a car and a cooler.  Like the previous two entries on the list this place is ugly but, unlike the domed stadiums, there is absolutely nothing unique or even noteworthy about this place’s exterior.  The term “concrete jungle” comes to mind.  This stadium is a relic from a time when parks were built more for efficiency than looks and while it’s not as bad as some of the multi-purpose places that existed in Cincinnati, Philly or Pittsburgh (among others) you can tell that this place is a not-so-distant cousin to those now-deceased cookie cutters.  Also, the interior is just ridiculous.  I’ve touched on the plethora of empty seats already but there are a few other things here that just don’t pass the test.  The first is the absurdly large amount of foul territory.  I am not one of those people that need to see a 12-8 game but, for the average fan, more offense generally equals a better time.  The dimensions of this place serve to severely limit those types of games.  When a batter hits a pop-up their only option is to pray and, most of the time, those prayers go unanswered.  The final issue I have with The Coliseum’s interior is what I have dubbed as “the steps to nowhere.”  I had noticed these stairs from watching countless games here on TV and I was hoping that attending a game live would answer my question; namely, why are these stairs here?  Where do they go?  The obvious answer is that they are used for the football formation but, really, you can’t find another place to put them?  Hell, you tarp everything else, why not throw a tarp over those steps as well?  The bottom line is, like a few other big league clubs, the A’s need a new stadium and whether they move or not, I’m hoping one arrives sooner rather than later.

So that’s O.Co Coliseum, #28 on the list.  If you find yourself attending a game there, I encourage you to enjoy the weather and to enjoy taking in the sights and sounds of one of the truly great metropolitan areas I’ve ever been to.  Just don’t expect much else.  And eat before you arrive.

#29: Rogers Centre

Rogers Centre

One Blue Jays Way

Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Capacity:  49,282

Indoors/outdoors:  (Sloooooow) Retractable Roof

Selected Game Attended:  Twins v. Blue Jays; April 4, 2006

Along with death and taxes, I can offer up another precious guarantee in life:  whoever designed the Rogers Centre in Toronto was not a member of the United States Navy.  Sound weird?  There is logic behind my supposition.  Look no further than the now-famous acronym “K.I.S.S.”  For those not familiar with this term it stands for “Keep It Simple Stupid” and was apparently coined by an engineer whose company built spy planes for the Navy in the 1960s.  What does this have to do with the Rogers Centre?  Well, in short, this monstrosity of a ballpark located north of the border is about the furthest thing from “simple” that you could imagine, and whoever designed it certainly either had never heard of the K.I.S.S. adage or decidedly rejected it in favor of trying to jam as much “stuff” into one place as technology (and money) would allow.

We all probably know about the retractable roof (the first of its kind) and I’m sure a few folks are also aware of the hotel and restaurant that grace the center field façade and that the building, when fully enclosed, looks more like an exhibit at Epcot Center than a place where Major League Baseball games are played.  I have often wondered if simplicity is the way to go when designing ballparks – most parks that were built in the 1990s tried to mimic the olden days, when parks were little more than a field, scoreboard and grandstand.  While I like a little pizzazz as much as the next guy, the Rogers Centre is concrete proof that overdoing a stadium simply for the sake of overdoing it does not work.  Perhaps when it opened in 1989 there was a different sort of reaction (“a hotel INSIDE the stadium!  Holy smokes!  Turn up the ‘New Edition’ tape!”) and I can only imagine the hype surrounding this place at the time, but these reviews take place in the present day, and in the present day, unfortunately, this place looks and feels as dated as any other park in baseball, which is why it comes in at #29 on the list.

Despite all the “bells” and “whistles” that Rogers Centre (formerly called SkyDome, with a pretty cool logo) offers, the park still gives you an overwhelming sense of “blah” when you walk inside, much like its bottom-feeding companion, Tropicana Field.  It shouldn’t surprise you that this stadium shares many of the characteristics that the home of the Rays does:  dull, lifeless, empty, depressing.  The one striking difference is how huge this place truly looks and feels when you enter the seating area; a never-ending sea of empty blue seats as far as the eye can see seem to reach the roof itself all the way to the outfield.  I can’t imagine those seats have actually been filled since the 1993 World Series and that amount of emptiness adds to the already dreary prospect of having to watch a game here.  At least in The Trop there is no real discernible “upper level” in the outfield so there is a slight bit of added coziness there that Rogers Centre simply cannot offer.  There are other features that resound as definite negatives.  The roof takes 20 minutes or so to open or close and the field remains the only one in major league baseball to have “sliding pits” instead of a complete dirt infield (The Trop LOLs at your measly sliding pits, Rogers Centre!).  In addition, the ground may as well be made of rubber as a hard hit ball in this place does things that no ball should.  Toronto chop, indeed!

All of that being said, I have not even begun to touch on the really awful aspect of this park.  Take a look at a map of New York City.  Here is one of Los Angeles.  Finally, Chicago.  Now, take a look at a map of Toronto.  What do you notice?  Unlike the three largest cities in the United States, in Toronto it’s seemingly one road in, one road out.  The traffic getting to this place can be a complete nightmare, especially for 7:00 starts on weeknights when you are dealing with rush hour.  The Gardiner Expressway serves as the main entrance into and out of the southern part of the city and, no exaggeration, has been positively jammed every time I have driven to a game here.  It’s been a while (I haven’t attended a game here since 2007), so maybe they’ve eased up on the congestion, but you would do well to find alternate means of transportation.  I attended law school at SUNY Buffalo (a mere 90 or so miles from Toronto) which afforded me several opportunities over those three years to skip Tort Law and go see my beloved Orioles.  Over time, I learned that the best bet is to make your way up the Queen Elizabeth Way (which turns into the Gardiner) and get off about 30 miles before you reach the city.  From there you can hop on a “GO” train (the city’s main rail line) and take it all the way to Union Station.  From there, it’s a short walk to the park.  

But, like the Trop, Rogers Centre isn’t all that bad.  When the roof is open, and you’re sitting in the right section, you can get a really nice view of the CN Tower (I think in all my games at Rogers Centre, the roof was only open once or twice) also, Toronto is an incredible city with great things to do and sights to see.  Rogers Centre is situated in the heart of downtown so finding activities to do before and after the game (or making a weekend of it) should not be too hard.  It is this feature that slightly pushes the home of the Jays ahead of the home of the Rays.

Finally, a brief anecdote.  On opening night 2006, a buddy and I decided to go to Rogers Centre to watch a great pitching matchup, Johan Santana of the Twins against Roy Halladay of the Blue Jays.  We left Buffalo at a reasonable hour, hit traffic and a snowstorm or two (I did mention that Rogers Centre has a retractable roof, right?) and were terribly behind schedule.  We finally arrived at the park at about the fourth inning only to be told that the game was sold out.  Despondent and about to try to bribe the 16-year-old kid working the entrance gate to let us in, an angel dressed in khakis appeared.  This man had overheard our plight and, working for ESPN (the network showing the game tonight) offered us two free tickets which happened to be about 10 rows behind home plate.  Which brings up another adage, it’s always darkest before the dawn.

And that’s all she wrote about Rogers Centre.  Not a great start for the American League East, but I have a feeling it will get better.